Know your benefits!!!!!

I am almost through with week 2 at the hospital I am working at. Hospitals are about helping people and making money. Money keeps the doors open and employees there to help patients. Which brings me to my point of the blog. It surprises me how many people do not know what their behavioral health insurance benefits are or what benefits they have through work. They don't look at it until a crisis arrives. Please review your insurance benefits and employee assistance benefits. The time of a crisis is not the time to figure out where your insurance is accepted and what type of care you have. A day of treatment for the facility I work at cost 900.00/day on average. That's is a lot when you have to pay it out of pocket. 

Ashley Davis Bush, LCSW, Psychotherapist and author of "75 Habits for a Happy Marriage" talks about ways to Destress without leaving your Chair

There is definitely a time for action. Like when you wake up at 3 a.m. and hear water pouring out from somewhere in your house after you've just returned home from a winter vacation and it turns out that your frozen pipes are bursting (not that I'm speaking from actual experience, or anything). In that moment of stress, it's probably not the best time to sit and meditate on your dilemma.

Don't just sit there, do something! Happily for me, my husband leapt out of bed, ran through the basement (naked, mind you) and shut off all water in the house until he could isolate the offending pipe. The amygdala, the part of the brain that identifies danger and then activates the body for fight or flight, is quite good at reacting to potential danger. A little too good, you might say.

For many of us, the stressors of high-paced, nonstop modern living chronically stimulate our amygdala, thus keeping our bodies in a state we call stress. We become so locked into high alert that we remain stressed out even though no danger actually lurks around the corner. While a single stress response can be critical, chronic stress is a health hazard.

Often our well-meaning leisure activities, our attempts to lower our stress levels -- such as going on vacation, going to a yoga class, engaging in our hobbies, or even having a massage -- fail to keep our stress levels down. Why? Because, 1. we get stressed just trying to fit these activities into our busy lives (and paying for them) and 2. the moments of relaxation we might experience often don't carry over into our day to day living.

So, how can you truly restore yourself, simply and effectively, every day? Don't just do something, sit there. Right there, in your chair. After all, it's the small moments of peace through your day that make a big difference to your stress level. In my book,Shortcuts to Inner Peace, I offer a compendium of effective relaxation techniques. Read on to learn eight of them. Whether it's in your desk chair or your recliner, just sit, relax, and restore.

The first four practices you can do with your eyes open while the last four practices can be done with your eyes shut. You may find setting a timer for 1-5 minutes helpful.

1. Daydream by gazing out your window -- I know that your teachers told you to stop staring out the window and focus on your work. But now your objective is to let your work go for a few minutes. Start with a long exhale and then let your gaze wander. Notice what's happening in the outside world. Just notice. Feel how your body relaxes as you redirect your mind away from stressful thoughts. Especially fun is to imagine a feel good fantasy -- romantic, heroic, or otherwise. Daydreaming is not only relaxing, but it can actually help boost your creativity.

2. Investigate a small object, looking for details -- It's remarkable how you can look at the same objects every day but actually not see a thing. Take a moment to look at something within reach and really notice the details. Explore the color nuances, the textures, the shadows, the design. Discover the hidden aspects of your stapler, your favorite pen, the picture on the wall, the shell in your desk drawer. Notice how your mind redirects as you go on an adventure into the micro-landscapes around you.

3. Tap on your body from the feet up -- Use your knuckles to gently tap your way up your body. Focus your attention on the sensations. Start with your feet and move up your calves to your thighs. Tap along your torso and up each arm. Use your finger tips to gently tap your face. When you redirect your attention toward physical sensations, you may notice that your thoughts subside. Energy medicine considers tapping an important way to help relieve stress and revitalize your energy.

4. Doodle -- Put pen to paper and let yourself meander. Doodling is another way to jumpstart your creative side. Give your left brain a rest and let your right brain wake up. When we move our attention away from goal-directed activity during doodling, our "attention system" is relaxed. So give your left brain a break, stimulate creative juices and have fun!

5. Close your eyes and Listen -- Listen to the sounds around you. Isolate your sense of hearing, letting yourself notice and label each sound that you hear: "dog barking, car honking, copy machine, colleagues gossiping, rain pounding, etc." Slow the spiral of stressful thinking by bringing yourself fully into the present moment. Mindful listening clears the mind and has the effect of rebooting your system.

6. Close your eyes and imagine yourself on a fantastic vacation -- Take a moment and travel back in time to a wonderful trip. Or picture a fabulous destination that you've always wanted to visit. Use details to imagine the temperature, the sights, the sounds, the smells. Replay a favorite place, detail by detail. Notice how your body responds to pleasant, relaxing thoughts, almost as if you are actually there. Take a deep breath. Consider this your "Calgon take me away!" moment.

7. Close your eyes and breathe -- Your breath is like a portable spa. It's so obvious, so ever-present, and yet we rarely think to harness its potent powers. While there are many breathing exercises to consider, I personally suggest the 4-7-8 breath, an ancient breathing pattern taught by Dr. Andrew Weil. Breathe in for the count of 4, hold your breath to the count of 7, and exhale your breath, breathing out through your mouth as if breathing through a straw, to the count of 8. The pairing of an exhale that is twice as long as the inhale is especially relaxing.

8. Close your eyes and scan your body -- Start with the top of your head and "scan" down, slowly checking in with your body. As you scan, imagine warmth spreading from the top of your head, down your neck, over your shoulders, down your arms, down your torso, down your legs, and moving out through your feet. Notice a sense of inner awareness. For example, even with your eyes closed, you are aware of your hands and feet; you can feel an aliveness within them. Allow your attention to move from "thinking" to "sensation." Use these moments to re-connect with your body and release any tension within. The body scan is a classic relaxation technique.

There is a time and place for action and reaction, but there's also a place for the pleasure of stillness. You may not be able to get to the yoga mat, your barbells, or your sneakers. But you can take a moment to lean back and relax into the peacefulness of just sitting there.

Parents please read and take heed

Parents do you know what your kids are saying when they use abbreviations and acronyms? It is disturbing that can be said via text and chat and people do not know what the  abbreviation means.

Detective Mike Harris from the Jefferson County District Attorney's Office informed 7News that cracking the codes kids use isn't about being cool, it is about keeping them safe.  Harris makes a living posing as children online to catch internet predators in the act, but the perverted criminals are even better than he is at talking to the kids at their level. 

Here are a few of the abbreviations:
8 - means ate or can also refer to oral sex
9- Parent watching
99 -Parent gone
143- I love you
1174 - the meeting place, meet at
420- marijuana
53X- sex
ADR- address
AEAP- as earlly as possible
ALAP- as late as possible
ASL- age, sex, location,
Broken- hung over from alcohol
CD9- Code 9- it means the parents are around
GNOC- get naked on camera
GYOP- get your pants off
IWSN- I want sex now
KPC- keeping parents clueless
LMIRL- lets meet in real life
MorF- male or female
MOS- mom over shoulder
MPFB- my personal F*** buddy
P911- parent alert
NIFOC- nude in front of computer
Q2C - quick to cum
RU/18- are you over 18
PIR- parent in room
PAW- parents are watching
PRON- porn
RUH-are you horny
TDTM- talk dirty to me
WYCM- will you call me
WUF- where you from
WYRN- what's your real name.

Hope Is...........

None of us have ever woken up and thought, “I hope I have a terrible day today.” We might expect to have a bad day or worry about having a bad day, but these emotions are not hope. Hope is believing the best for us.

There is a difference between having hope and having a wish. Wishing is an optimistic thought that doesn't require any action; hope is about trusting. Wishing the store will have your favorite flavor of ice cream when you get there is just a thought. Hope is calling ahead, learning it is in stock, then trusting the manager put it aside for you. Our hope is only as valuable as the person or thing in which we place it. 

Reflect:

Who do you place your hope in? Do you have a hard time hoping ? Why or why not?

Thanksgiving

thanksgiving

what should we be thankful for? That is an individual answer to a big question. One could say I am thankful for my family, but what if you don't have family or have lost a loved one this year? One could say, I am thankful for my job.  Maybe you were downsized this year? I am thankful for my health. What if you were diagnosed with a terminal illness or a chronic illness? I am thankful for my home. Maybe it was foreclosed on, or you are homeless.  I am thankful for the country I live in. However, this country rejects you based on race, ethnicity, income level, education, etc.
I am thankful that I am alive. Sometimes that is all we need, a glimmer of hope or feeling of being alive.  If you have or are experiencing the crisies listed above, remember you are alive and when there is life, there is hope.  Don't give up hope.  Don't give up your hope!!!!
Hope brings forth thankfulness and life and life brings forth hope and thankfulness. 

Article from Huffington Post

Huffington  Post

THE BLOG

My Battle With Depression and Anxiety

Marisa Lancione 10/12/14 11:11 AM ET

Living with a chronic mental illness often feels like waiting for the other shoe to drop. Well, the proverbial shoe has dropped (it's stylish at least). I've been struggling for a while, but I'm finally coming around to admitting it. Despite seeing therapists on and off for nearly 10 years, I still find it hard to communicate how I feel. But even more difficult is being honest with myself about how I am feeling. So I guess this is sort of a litmus test. Will confessing how I feel get me out of denial or will I continue to keep my head in the sand and ignore it?

I've been battling semi-regular panic attacks for the past six months. My first panic attack in years happened in March. As with most panic attacks, they happen at the most inopportune moments. This particular one happened during the middle of a concert. I was at a bar that was packed with drunk hipsters, tossing their bodies carelessly to the music. I began to feel claustrophobic among the ever-increasing press. The bass of the music reverberated in my chest, amplifying my pounding heart. The bar was too hot. The walls were closing in on me. I couldn't catch my breath. My heart felt like it was going to explode out of my chest. I had to get out of there. My husband and I snaked our way through the crowded bar, each time someone bumped into me, a jolt of adrenaline coursed through me like an electric current. By the time we made it to the door, I was in the throes of a full-blown panic attack.

These situations are incredibly frustrating. As I was leaning against the building, among the smokers and couples making out, I couldn't help but cry. I was having such a great evening before this. My husband and I enjoyed an incredible dinner before the concert. We were hanging out with friends, listening to an amazing band. And then I had to leave before they finished their set. Compounding my anxiety was the fact that the friends I was with had no idea what was happening. As we left, I mumbled excuses about having to catch the last metro.

Panic attacks are like getting the stomach flu right before an event. Except instead of knowing before that you were cancelling to puke in the safety of your home, you're suddenly vomiting in public (lovely imagery, I know) and rushing out of the door.

After this first attack, I started seeing a therapist (who was a former psychiatrist) for the first time in about four years. She's an incredibly lovely lady. She suggested that I exercise more and cut out caffeine and sugar. I started working out every day, reduced my caffeine (I haven't had a coffee that wasn't decaf in three months) and tried to avoid sugar as much as humanly possible. Except, none of this helped and the panic just got worse.

As my anxiety levels increased to nearly intolerable levels, sleep became a joke (despite already taking medication that is supposed to help me sleep). I can't tell you the last time I have slept through the night. Finally in May, after not sleeping for about four days, I was given anti-anxiety medication. I often pair my nighttime pill with my anti-anxiety meds, but I still wake up in semi-terror, feeling like I have forgotten something important. Other nights I just toss and turn unable to sleep at all.

But lately, it's more than panic plaguing me. An encompassing sadness has attached itself to me like a shadow -- following me wherever I go, no matter what I do. I've had this feeling before, it's certainly not new to me. It's just been a while. I know it's depression waiting in the wings. I know that if I don't fight it hard enough, it will envelope me completely. So everyday I force myself out of bed and go to work. I force myself to keep plans and socialize because I know that if I don't, I'd spend my weekends in bed, reading or watching TV until Monday. I know that depression is never fought by being a hermit. Sometimes it works and I end up enjoying myself out with friends but other times, I just wish I was in bed.

Nothing comes easily right now -- including writing this. Stringing words together has always come easily to me and it's frustrating to feel like there's a dam blocking my flow of words (perhaps that's why I resorted to a scatalogical simile earlier).

But the worst part of all of this is watching the concern on my husband's face. I know as I stare silently into space as we watch TV, his mind is running through worst case scenarios. Is she thinking about killing herself? Is this going to result in another hospital stay? Will I catch her self-harming? How concerned do I need to be?

You may be thinking that these scenarios may seem a bit extreme, but the fact is that we've gone through all of them, and only four short years ago. My parents have been extremely supportive through the ups and downs of my illness, but they don't have a choice -- I'm their kid. My husband always had the option to leave and he didn't -- even when I have repeatedly encouraged him to.

Even if his worst case scenarios have happened in the past, the reality of this recent sadness (I am still reticent to name it depression, for now) is that I'm not in that headspace. I refuse to resort to self-harm at 28 years old. I'm not thinking of suicide as a viable option because I see the value of my life. And for the first time in my illness, I'm actually taking positive steps to help stave off depression.

The first step was recognizing the persisting sadness -- it's been longer than a week, this is more than a bad mood. The second step was making an appointment with my therapist. And the third, and probably the most important step, was sharing how I was feeling with my husband and parents (my main support system). This third step has always given me the most trouble.

It's not that these steps will guarantee that I will ward off a full blown depressive episode. I'm terrified that it could still happen. I'm intimidated by the thought of changing my medications and dealing with new side effects. I'm scared that I might have to take a leave from my job. I'm horrified by the potential of another hospital stay.

But at the end of the day, even if all of this happens, at least I know I tried. And that's something.

A version of this piece originally appeared on Healthy Minds Canada.

Have a story about depression that you'd like to share? Email strongertogether@huffingtonpost.com, or give us a call at (860) 348-3376, and you can record your story in your own words. Please be sure to include your name and phone number.

Need help? In the U.S., call 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.

Panic attacks and anxiety- what is it?

“For me, a panic attack is almost a violent experience. I feel disconnected from reality. I feel like I’m losing control in a very extreme way. My heart pounds really hard, I feel like I can’t get my breath, and there’s an overwhelming feeling that things are crashing in on me.”

“It started 10 years ago, when I had just graduated from college and started a new job. I was sitting in a business seminar in a hotel and this thing came out of the blue. I felt like I was dying.”


“In between attacks there is this dread and anxiety that it’s going to happen again. I’m afraid to go back to places where I’ve had an attack. Unless I get help, there soon won’t be anyplace where I can go and feel safe from panic.”

"I can't be in or around people.  I feel like I can't breathe and my heart starts pounding.  How can I go to the grocery store?" 

My first panic attack occurred on the way back home to Tennessee. My husband was driving and my heart rate felt like it was going thru the roof.  I felt doomed like I was having a heart attack on the interstate.  We found an ER and sped there.  I was hooked up to a monitor, my heart rate was elevated but not high. I was released and we continued on our way.  The entire trip was the trip from hell.  I did not feel like me 99% the time while home.  I felt like I would never be able to relax. I went back to the ER later in the trip and ended up having a stress test. My heart was fine and that was when I learned what panic attacks were and how they felt.

Panic disorder is a real illness that can be successfully treated. It is characterized by sudden attacks of terror, usually accompanied by a pounding heart, sweatiness, weakness, faintness, or dizziness. During these attacks, people with panic disorder may flush or feel chilled; their hands may tingle or feel numb; and they may experience nausea, chest pain, or smothering sensations. Panic attacks usually produce a sense of unreality, a fear of impending doom, or a fear of losing control. 

A fear of one’s own unexplained physical symptoms is also a symptom of panic disorder. People having panic attacks sometimes believe they are having heart attacks, losing their minds, or on the verge of death. They can’t predict when or where an attack will occur, and between episodes many worry intensely and dread the next attack.

Panic attacks can occur at any time, even during sleep. An attack usually peaks within 10 minutes, but some symptoms may last much longer." (NIMH, 2014)

Six million people suffer from panic attacks.  Women are twice as likely to have panic attacks as men.  Panic attacks are one form of anxiety.  Others include OCD, PTSD, Social anxiety, Generalized Anxiety and specific phobias.  All of the various types of anxiety have some common symptoms.  The common symptoms include excessive, irrational fear and dread.  Other symptoms can be shortness of breath, sweating, racing thoughts, inability to think clearly or rationally, and loss of control.  Anxiety is basically fear of loss of control. 

Ways to deal with anxiety include:  stress management, along with meditation, aerobic activity,  therapy to address the triggers of anxiety, and medications if prescribed by a MD.

I dealt with my anxiety by meditation, walking, and finding ways to reduce my stress level.  I practice what I teach.  Deep breathing, visual meditation, and becoming aware of my stress level keeps me in control of me. If you need help, there is more information listed below and please feel free to contact me and I will help you as well. 

For more information: 

• Anxiety Disorders Information and Organizations from NLM's MedlinePlus (en Español)
• Panic Disorder Information and Organizations from NLM's MedlinePlus (en Español)

Who am I and What do I do?

Hi, I am Amy.  I am a counselor.  I like to help people who have been beaten up by life. People who have wounded hearts.  Life is tough.  We get beat up by family issues and family members, sickness, divorce, loss of a job, loss of a friend, and ourselves.  I know.  I have been wounded before.  I bet you have too.  So, why come talk to me about it? Well, I keep secrets.  You can tell me anything (except for 5 things that I must report per ethics and law) and I won't tell anyone else.  I can listen to you and provide you with guidance.  I am trained and licensed to do this by the State of Texas.  I know you may be thinking, I can talk to my friend and they can do that.  Well, maybe they can but they may not be bound by law and ethics to keep your stuff quiet and secret like I am. I am also not emotionally close to you and sometimes can see things people can't see when they are emotionally close to you. Silly example but would your friend tell you that you look ugly in that dress when you have gushed on and on about how you love it and how it makes you feel?  Probably not because they don't want to hurt your feelings.  I will tell you if I feel it is important to your overall feeling better.  I will be brutally honest with you.

Now a little more about me: I am an empathetic, fun loving and compassionate counselor. I believe  people want to improve their situations. I have 20 years experience working with troubled teens in and out of juvenile court, domestic violence situations, CPS work that included assessment of home situations, homeless families training them in lifestyle improvements, individual with drug & alcohol recovery.  I have a warm and energetic style that has allowed my clients to share their victories, celebrate with laughter, allow the slow grieving to process, and I have had to show tough love moments with my clients.  My experience has prepared my to counsel adults, families, couples and children that have special set of circumstances. I have worked  and continue to work with individuals who are developmentally delayed in groups home and foster homes.  I use an integrated approach of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Rogerian Therapy. I along with the client will use the therapy suited to the client where they are at in their time of need.  I have experience in a wide variety of issues, including depression, anxiety, grieving a loss, mood disorders, anger issues, PTSD, stress management, Trauma Focused CBT and self esteem.

As a former director of a delinquent girls halfway house and an assistance director to a shelter for homeless individuals and families,I know important it is to relate to individuals where they are at without judgement but with compassion and as equals.  I have been noted by others for going above and beyond in the counseling experience by linking with community resources to meet needs outside of the counseling purview. I guide my clients through their journey and assists them in finding joy in the journey. 

Licensure:

•    Licensed Professional Counselor, TX

Education:

•    B.S. -East Tennessee State University, Johnson City, TN

•    M.S. in Counseling- Capella University, Minneapolis, MN.

Populations Served included children, teenagers, adults, couples and families.

Treatment Offered:

•    mood disorder/bipolar

•    depression/sadness

•    anxiety/panic/worry

•    PTSD

•    domestic violence victims

•    grief/loss

•    life transitions, divorce, breakup, job loss,

•    conflict resolution

•    communication skills, stress management, relaxation techniques

•    mood management

•    boundaries

•    parenting

How to select a voice coach? or a therapist?

I was watching The Voice last night and thought about how the individuals auditioning would select their coaches.  During the interviews, a lot said they would choose someone who could help them with certain needs or desires they had.  One wanted to be plugged in to the song writing, another wanted to work on blending different styles of music.

 I started thinking, how do people choose a therapist.  So, how do you select a therapist?  Well, the states have several suggestions they want you to know.  You want someone who is licensed in the state you live in.

Here are some bullet point questions to consider:

• Are they licensed? Do they have a graduate degree? Have they participated in post graduate training? Therapy is an every changing field and to keep up with the changes.
• Have there been any complaints filed with the board? You can check you state board of Professional Licensing to see if a therapist has had complaints filed on them.
• Do you feel comfortable talking to him or her, are they a safer person to talk to? Is the person down to earth and easy to relate to or does he/she feel cold, distant and emotionally removed? The therapist should be engaged with you and not cold or distant.  Going to a therapist will produce some anxiety however the therapist should be able to and want to engage you in conversation.  Speaking to a therapist should be easy and conversation should flow back and forth.
• Can they clearly define how they can help you solve whatever issues or concern you have? They should be able to give you a road map or guide to how they think they can help you.  The guide should not be written in stone as situations change from day to day.
• Do they adhere to ethical principals in regards to issues such as confidentiality? This is the most important question as you want your stuff to stay your stuff. 

(GoodTherapy.org, 2007)

Then, it's all up to what you want or what you can afford or what your insurance company gives you.
I think it starts with the website of the therapist.  Is the website professional looking? Do you connect with the biography of the therapist?  Is the counselor experienced in what you are needing?  For example, maybe you are more comfortable as a female speaking to females.  Or maybe you want someone how has experience working with families and children.  Or maybe you want someone who has experience working with grief and grieving.  It depends on what you are looking for.  If you call the therapist office, do you get a return call immediately or does weeks go by before you get a call back? When you come in the office, is it peaceful and welcoming or does it feel sterile?

  Remember, if you don't feel comfortable after meeting the person, give it one to two more sessions.  Therapy is not always feel good stuff and the first session is not comfortable.  If it doesn't feel right, change therapist.